Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Policeman 2: Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide. [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Monty: Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. I think we better release you from the lgume, and transfer your talents to the meat. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Change down, man. That's what you say. Marwood stands there, petrified]. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. [shouting at his cat] Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. Ah, he knows. Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. . Goes into court in his kaftan and a bell. Danny: We're doing a feature for Country Life. [smiling] Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. Monty: Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Withnail: The bastard's about to run at me! Change down, man, find your neutral space. What have you done to them? Because I don't advise it. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Withnail: Do you like vegetables? Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Marwood: Nor women neither. Withnail: [offering Monty a glass] The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! You merely imagined it. We worked out it would be very handy karma for him to get hold of a suit. It will pass. What fucker said that? Press J to jump to the feed. What goods the countryside? Jesus, look at that. We'll keep them here til they arrive. Withnail: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights!
Here Hare Here - YouTube Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? Your desires. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day!
Withnail: Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: You've had an audition.
Withnail & I Quotes You lose, you gain. But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Let him get his drugs out. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Waitress: It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Why can't I get on television? Tactical necessity. Soak up the booze. Very, very foolish words, man. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. They walk down to the cottage.
Quotes from Withnail and I: The Screenplay - BookQuoters And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail is cowering under the covers]. What on Earth are those? Monty: We'll have another pair of large scotches. Sophocles. My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Stand aside! It will pass. Didn't you hear? Dont be ridiculous. It's too hot so he drops it, on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing, Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before, Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note, wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway, he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic, holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube, Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! An expert on bulls you are not! Withnail: You've got soup. I've already put two shilling pieces in.
Withnail and I : r/movies - reddit.com by Anonymous: . Marwood: I'm utterly arseholed. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Hey, show no fear! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy.
Quote by Bruce Robinson: "Here. Hare. Here. Here hare here!" Isaac Parkin: We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Withnail: [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] I might come and see you lads in the week. Withnail: Withnail: Rejuvenate! [reading graffiti] Marwood: If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. Why doesn't he retire? The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made.
Federal judge sentences Massachusetts man to probation for running Withnail: Politics, man. Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. You want working on, boy. Brings back such memories of Oxford. Withnail:
Withnail And I Script - Dialogue Transcript - Script-O-Rama Then it was a rodent. Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. Monty: What are we going to do about it? We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Withnail: Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. [a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick]. No, man, this was more like a long white hat. Marwood: Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Balls! Marwood: Marwood: It's all your fault. Withnail: Marwood: Well, I don't know. [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] How you feel. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. You needn't explain, he's told me everything. [picking up an apron] Give me a downer, Danny. Tea Shop Proprietor: [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. Marwood: Withnail: It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. Aren't you getting absurdly high? Little tarts, they love it! Dosed 'em. Withnail: He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail: He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Got a bit carried away. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Withnail: Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! [high-pitched voice] Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! "I'm going to pull your head off." "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. I tried not to. Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Bates novel I'd read. Well neither have I. [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: Matter. It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Withnail: Because I want to walk you to the station. You won't keep us anywhere. A little before your time. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! He went to the other place, Monty. General: The murder and All-Bran and rape. What's your name, MacFuck? Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. Withnail: Come on, old boy. Look at this - accident blackspot? Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Headhunter to everyone. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. Listen to me, listen to me! Be seated. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. Withnail: Who fucks arses? Withnail: In this case, it most certainly would not. And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Danny: Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". Tea Shop Proprietor: It's the only solution to this intense cold. Marwood: You mustn't blame yourself. Withnail: It won't be the first time I've been left with the couch. And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! Withnail: Required fields are marked *. Then you get horribly drunk and they can't fucking touch you. Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? Withnail: Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Withnail: Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! I think we've been in here too long. What happened to my agent? Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. This ain't fancy dress." Monty: How right you are, how right you are. I've never met him. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. Danny: Start shouting. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. He's been fed from arsehole to beak. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Yes, you are! I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Go with it. He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! No more than you have. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! is the clip Thanks! Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. Here, I dont want it. Danny: Shut that gate and keep it shut! Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Look at us! He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. The entire sink's gone rotten. Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? Vegetables again. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? We are multimillionaires. Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! [pulling some goo out of the sink] Withnail: Withnail: Trying for even more advantage. Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! Monty: Uncle Monty: Sherry? Warm up? Belongs to the fellow downstairs. There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this fucking mountainside! [pulling back the lace curtain] Cooking's one of the natural instincts. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Withnail: You're looking very beautiful, man. [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! I might fetch you up a rabbit. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Marwood: Marwood: (Takes the shotgun) Well let me tell you something, Withnail. Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Had a weight under his fez. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself "I will never play the Dane." Withnail: Poacher. Do you grow? Youre not in the same boat. You been away? And we want them here, and we want them now! And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". Have you been away? Go with it. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. The fucking kettle's on fire! Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! These aren't mine, they belong to him. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! What have you done to them? Look at him. Here. We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. Withnail: Jake: Little tarts, they love it! Tea Shop Proprietor: Danny: *Arrrgh*! save. What the fuck are you talking about? What is it? And all at once those frozen hours, melt through the nervous system, and seep out the pores. Danny: Withnail: You little thug! One of us has got to stay on guard. [staggering out] . Withnail: He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Throw yourself into the road, darling! Withnail: Marwood: We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. It's available on I feel unusual. He's lent us his cottage. I could take double anything you could. Marwood: The wankers on site don't drink it because they can't afford it! It's wearing a yellow sock. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world.