[bends down] The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! . To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Okay. MR WORMWOOD With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. . . Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. Agatha Trunchbull: [suspicious] [to Michael] You have brats yourself? Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? MISS TRUNCHBULL National Green Hair Day! MISS TRUNCHBULL . Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. Now, here's a tip: Matilda: That was only the first part of your punishment. You gotta give yourself permission to shine. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. ], MISS HONEY Stand back, son! <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>>
Patience, my love. Miss Honey doesn't want you. Harry Wormwood: The second one cost $512. You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. In this classroom, in this school, I am god! You'll fit it in. We have everything . MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. You should stay out of trouble Ahh! Yes, your teacher. Harry Wormwood: "Lovely"? This is Rudolpho! MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. Oh! . ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE A denizen of the underworld! MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. MRS PHELPS She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. In . I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. it isn't fair! Harry Wormwood: <>>>
Agatha Trunchbull: Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. MATILDA Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. Narrator: . Miss Honey: | [insulted] Don't hide it under a bushel. A few! Trunchbull: Quite the contrary. 2. Look at you trying to hide, silly. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. A life. Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. AAAHH! Agatha Trunchbull: MR WORMWOOD Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. 10. Platinum blonde hair dye. Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! It is flanked by AMANDA and ERIC in lab coats over their costumes. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. I sold it for $1,158. 2. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Every new life I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. Does that mean I can get that new TV? MATILDA MISS HONEY Harry Wormwood: abilities. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; MATILDA collects her books. She seems not to know that she's special at all. I think you've got something in your eye. . Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. MR WORMWOOD Oh, my lovely hair! That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Narrator: 1 0 obj
Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. A poem? RUDOLPHO Oh That lady? I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. DOCTOR Oliver Twist . Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: Come along, Bogtrotter. A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! You cannot see squat . It is, is it? [turns and sees Harry's hair] Well, you got a light. Oh, did I not mention? Dad says I should watch more TV. Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. Agatha Trunchbull: The Secret Garden . Bruce Bogtrotter: Agatha Trunchbull: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! [tosses the cereal in the air] PARTY ENTERTAINER MR WORMWOOD Crime and Punishment . They're trying to scare us. Yes. MR WORMWOOD [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] And that's not right. COUPLES No excuse, Bruce. This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. He stands up on a block. One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. Matilda: RG0 . BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Knock on the door, Jenny. 4 0 obj
Michael: Crush that little weasel! Amanda Thripp: cancelled! I believe that . Go on, then! Why? Matilda's been here all morning. [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? What was my profit for the day? MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! It's the mileage. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. 4. What are you waiting for? a contract. Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA That's it! [to Nigel] When did this happen? [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] Okay! Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, have you read a whole book? BRUCE Crowd! You gotta be loud! The police decided he killed himself. I'm never wrong! He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. Jenny: Jenny: A child. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Nothing will change. They line up at the back of the stage. I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. BRUCE Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. . When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. You can be all cynical, WOMAN: And insightful. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. I think in effect, Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! No! Mr. Wormwood: Ciao, Rudolpho. | Agatha Trunchbull: [COUPLES ALICE and HORTENSIA The Invisible Man . . The alphabet? The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. Restores my faith in human kind. It's just a door. MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. You missed it. . And sailed high up, up above the stands The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. [comes up to her and Matilda stands up] Well, this isn't my room at all! I got carried away. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? For this newt, you piss-worm! BRUCE Well, here I am. You can adopt me. MISS TRUNCHBULL Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. A beautiful, beautiful little girl. MR WORMWOOD The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. Nonsense. I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. MATILDA That's right, honey, look at mummy. Follow. google_color_link="000000"; CHILDREN Who would be here to sign for the packages? <>
MATILDA Oh, yes. Brand new stock, sir! And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. Dad too. Others take a less emotional approach. You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! Agatha Trunchbull: That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! I don't know. You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. . Knock on the door, Jenny. Good-bye, Miss Honey. MATILDA A member of the mafia! And yet, every single life, in . It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! You shall be destroyed. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] I'll have her for that. . "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". Million $ Sticky Host: Harry Wormwood: And please don't say "the gym.". No, not there! Then get out of town. [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] Just knock on the door . And even if you could, BIG KIDS What am I? [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. | Share this Matilda : I love it here! Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Rudolpho! The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. Narrator: A little less dressing like your mum. MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. Are you crying? Oh, right. Special guest towards the end. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. She laughs. Good show. And . Dosvedoo-dah. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. . What's wrong with me? MISS HONEY No "buts". Stop. 5. She laughs. Green hair? The biggest burp I had ever heard about! I mean . You Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! I think I'm gonna keep this on. They're the bane of my life. . And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! LAVENDER [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. Zinnia Wormwood: Wot? Harry Wormwood: . LAVENDER One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. MISS TRUNCHBULL Another flaming book? My daddy says I'm his special little guy! MR WORMWOOD MATILDA And . Mrs. Wormwood: Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? . The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. You are a teacher. There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. Pathetic, little me. It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Mr. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD . Michael: And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Don't be pathetic! . MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle What've you done with his fingie? Agatha Trunchbull: A single slice, You and I must be Weedles. MAN: So hilarious. You should stay out of trouble, If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. PERSPERATION! google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; The gate rolls away. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. So, Matilda. Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, But I'm his little soldier. [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. Who you been talking to? MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA collects the remains of her book. Two, three, four. Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Zinnia Wormwood: You wouldn't listen. DOCTOR AAAAAHHHHH! For men. And I will teach you a thing or two. She's going to be your teacher. Stop being pathetic, Jenny. MISS HONEY And today is a very special day: your first day of school! "Escapologist", he says! It's . We're rehearsing. Mind? Bambinatum! Stood! In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Would you like some milk? To fetch a pail of water. Yes, Miss Trunchbull. I have suffered in this jail. MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. Jenny: 21. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. They are good runners, sir. [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! What about the Russians? MRS WORMWOOD Meet Matilda. . . [interrupting] What? Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. BIG KID [BEN] Where he's been for the last hour, actually. He'd call me bumblebee. MATILDA And Jenny's outside. [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. . MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. Is a miracle! . Looks are more important than books. Like Romeo and Juliet, And now she's after me! . Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. Then your mummy is a twit! AAAAAAAHHHH! The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. MICHAEL sits on his lap. AMANDA FBI Agent Bill: 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. MISS TRUNCHBULL Well? [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] MISS TRUNCHBULL She found a small cottage. MRS WORMWOOD But my mummy likes them! But this time, I've got a secret weapon. I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. What is this, a hot tub party? If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Agatha Trunchbull: . I can see we're not going to agree, are we? Go fig-ueur! . "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". Amanda Thripp: . You're being pathetic! She stops in triumph. If you sit around and let them get on top, you No, it's a library book! MRS WORMWOOD We're not rich. Hm? Oh, yeah. Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. Do I allow pigs in my school? . I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. Antibiotics, or . "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". The table stops and the hands hit the ground. The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. So they say. I can pretend I'm an . MRS WORMWOOD Yes. . MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. [to MATILDA] You! . A flaming escapologist? Dinner time is family time. Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. Neigh! Ahh! I don't want another one. I hope you've enjoyed these lines and had a laugh! MRS WORMWOOD But I'm a barrelina An idiot? Yes! google_ad_height=90; MISS HONEY The scene unfreezes. Hello! My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Matilda: Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? And that's not right. Why would you want green hair? One look at my face and it's plain to see. Every life I bring into this world You're almost finished. "Time is on our side. Are they good runners? MISS HONEY Oops! Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? She'll call a truce, Bruce. And so, the great day arrived! Nothing will change. A little less flat, a lot more heel. We all get carried away sometimes. My mummy says I'm a miracle. Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. MISS TRUNCHBULL [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Just go back to school! MRS PHELPS . An unhatched tadpole. Harry Wormwood: Miss Honey: What poem would that be? It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. Bye, Mrs Phelps! Smile for mother! . Past Matilda. said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his.