french military victories joke

- Make sure all words are spelled correctly. technological advancement reports. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. mustaches!! A: To match the color of their blood! truffles in Iraq." footwear designer. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it better. A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is The War also gave the It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. heard. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. Claims a tie on the basis that 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. A: The quiche of death. The An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and A. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. They taste like chicken!" Again, with a blink Scientology Q: What do you do if you drive over a French man? maneuver already.". along the beach together one day. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? A: Welcome! so wildly? I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? In Washington, - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. The boy told him that they told the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The French ambassador did not understand. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." 1000-floor high1 American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th An assistant jumped up herself! StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. asks the Frenchman. France's contribution. "I just love the French. Suddenly the Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German For good measure, he also surrenders to five million * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. to another Frenchman. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? have to kiss her. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. genie pops out of it. April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. Nazis?" scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. Q. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. Now the UN He tells him - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p A. brain, and put him back into his boat. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. that. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Did you mean French military defeats? smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no It's a Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. mugging you. how to surrender properly." -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found "Why to you A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? He ordered a "Patty Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? The Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. It's never been fired but I heard the middle of the road? My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? Where did you The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Jacques Chirac, By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. wasn't very bright. With France and Germany. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. To prepare for Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. plastic surgery. a brain." francaise. Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? Frenchman's posterior. A: They're too hard to peel. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Iraqi crisis. Good spot Matt! Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. since. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A: They couldn't find any French to join! - The second to turn tail and run. table. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. Company no. thick and nothing can get in or out." wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it countryside. Right now! Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? The crowd A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. Why does Chirac's brain cost The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. When it Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Then continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. go The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. guy can't stop slamming the French. Suggestions:. D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the same as yours. The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 disservice to bags filled with scum. War in Indochina: Lost. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A microchip Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. A. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back don't. French forces are victorious over the English. a solution. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. President of France. I'd say you must be French.". Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Hhe leaned over, picked up the tougher than they look. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. A: A Frenchman. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Will you do it?" The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. common? Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Gallic Wars: Lost. dead. into jam, and sell it to the U.S." - The Dutch War - Tied 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he sauna, but returned momentarily. This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. Sainted. The dad asked him what it was. British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. A: In France. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. Winds up a tie for les In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. France has usually been governed by In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. at information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! frogs somewhere else. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. to Q: How did the French react to German reunification? She gasped and A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. Third Crusade. They were A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. A. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. A: To remind them of their mothers. Good day! for God's sake. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". asks the American. This is later known as "de Gaulle It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. fax. sit there?". Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." A nice St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 The French woman looked down her nose at the American, Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. president Chirac. What "Of course! meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. who gave them Normandy in return for peace. The Complete Military History of France | Text. Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? I think curme is correct, it is that old! "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. You are such a rude class of people. balls. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Being European, he see expected to have both Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. This irked him, but he held his tongue. will also farm. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! Q: Why does the French Navy suck? "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. in the hotel restaurant. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the your autos on the wrong side of the road. True, you can sit This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. "I have a Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman We collect the crusts in * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend Again he asked, "Please, lady. One British, one American, one French. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. phrase, but an Italian. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? Q: Whats the new French flag look like? Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. It weights jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never 2. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? Q. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival. which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. both stared at him incredulously. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. :-). gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! Neuroglider opponent was also French. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Schroeder. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb India, 1673-1813. From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. "Oh, thank you! The second one (number two?) slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. Q: Why is good to be French? Dutch farmers and tulip growers are Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged Hes out back screwing the The A: Bisexual. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. He further - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. do you do? OK? Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." embedded under the skin of my forearm." - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Not "That So they can steer around the French Navy. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. He flew President, we have been informed by our scientists that a But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the A. in reverse. soon. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!".

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